Life is Better With Friends: Why Meaningful Connections Matter More Than Ever

July 30, 2024

Writer: Kevin Miko Buac
Creatives: Jia Moral, Krystle Labio 

Loneliness, the sense of social isolation coupled with the disconnection where your current reality doesn’t match your yearning for social closeness (1), has become a pressing mental health concern. The spotlight on loneliness has intensified, even before the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, with widespread systemic efforts in Japan and the UK to address this rising global health issue (2). Loneliness is a growing concern, however studies have shown that loneliness affects people differently based on their countries of origin and age brackets; nevertheless, knowledge gaps exist among young and middle aged adults (3). Hence the social media generation composed of Millennials and Gen Z finds themselves in the heart of the loneliness epidemic.

Many people feel isolation despite always being constantly online, lacking close friendships or meaningful relationships (4). It can be startling to see the contrast between one’s emotional landscape and the façade they present on social media. Therefore, prevention is the key to treating loneliness. Just as preventing illness is better than to treating it, loneliness can be addressed by cultivating and maintaining genuine friendships. By focusing on forming meaningful connections, we may solve loneliness at its root and create a more connected society (5).

Having friends and close confidants enhances our lives, making us feel more satisfied and less prone to depression (6). While also lowering the risk of death from heart conditions and chronic illness (7), help us handle stress better, even reducing blood pressure when talking to supportive friends (8). Through our friendships, challenges seem smaller and they become part of a shared experience (9). Even brief interactions with acquaintances or strangers can enhance mental well-being, providing more connection and pleasure than one would have thought (10; 11). Surprisingly friendships are like romantic relationships in some ways. They are based on intimacy and warmth; hence, helping us cope with our emotions and build resilience (12; 13). In young adulthood when we start learning to move through life, our friends also help teach us such things as empathy, support and identity (10).

Sociologists identify the components in making friends naturally, both of which are harder to find as adults: continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability (14). Dr. Marisa Franco, a University of Maryland psychologist, suggests scheduling regular communal activities such as book clubs or hikes, to create these opportunities (14); making friendships more sustainable that involve group connections rather than one-on-one relationships. Challenges resulting from the isolation from the COVID-19 pandemic and mental health conditions, make forming connections more challenging and increase feelings of awkwardness and anxiety; thus Dr. Franco dispels the myth that friendships should happen naturally, emphasizing the need for conscious effort to reach out, initiate conversations, and consistently participate in group activities. She also discusses the fear of rejection and advises that one assumes that others already like them, which will build warmer interactions and positive responses. While self-disclosure may appear to be tiring, it makes us more human and develops relationships based on mutual support, but it is essential to put effort into friendships that work both ways (15). Finally, genuine friendship doesn’t mean being the most popular or funny, it entails making others feel valued and secure, starting by genuinely appreciating their traits as a person (15).

Social isolation and loneliness is a growing global health issue that became even more relevant during the COVID-19 pandemic and beyond; with the youth at the forefront affected by this public health concern that affects both physical and mental health alike (16). Social connection in the form of friendships offer comfort in addressing loneliness through enhancing overall quality of life and reducing health risks. Forming and maintaining friendships in adulthood and beyond may seem daunting but it is not impossible. Creating opportunities to connect, overcoming fears of rejection, practicing self-disclosure, focusing on reciprocated relationships are small and actionable steps. As we strive to make the world a less lonely place, let us remember that value that genuine connections hold. So please take that step—reach out, engage, and treasure the connections that come your way. Your actions will not only make your life better; but also create ripples of kindness and connection to the world around you.

Session Questions:

1. How can friendships impact our physical and mental health? (Self)
2. What can people do to build and maintain meaningful friendships in an increasingly digital society? (Society)
3. How can we leverage technology to foster more meaningful social connections in our communities? (Systems)

References:

1. Peplau, L. A., & Perlman, D. (1982). Perspectives on loneliness. In L. A. Peplau and D. Perlman (Eds.), Loneliness: A sourcebook of current theory, research and therapy (pp. 1-18). New York: John Wiley & Sons.
2. Díaz, C. G. (2021). Government ‘Ministries of Loneliness’ bridge the gaps of social distance. Reasons to Be Cheerful. https://reasonstobecheerful.world/ministry-of-loneliness-government-isolation-covid/
3. Surkalim, D. L., Luo, M., Eres, R., Gebel, K., Van Buskirk, J., Bauman, A., & Ding, D. (2022). The prevalence of loneliness across 113 countries: systematic review and meta-analysis. BMJ, e067068. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj-2021-067068
4. Ballard, J. (2019). Millennials are the loneliest generation. YouGov. https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/24577-loneliness-friendship-new-friends-poll-survey
5. Irrational Labs. (2024). No small talk – irrational labs. https://irrationallabs.com/case-studies/no-small-talk/
6. Choi, K. W., Stein, M. B., Nishimi, K. M., Ge, T., Coleman, J. R., Chen, C., Ratanatharathorn, A., Zheutlin, A. B., Dunn, E. C., Breen, G., Koenen, K. C., & Smoller, J. W. (2020). An Exposure-Wide and Mendelian randomization approach to identifying modifiable factors for the prevention of depression. American Journal of Psychiatry, 177(10), 944–954. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2020.19111158
7. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
8. Holt-Lunstad, J., Uchino, B. N., Smith, T. W., & Hicks, A. (2007). On the importance of relationship quality: The impact of ambivalence in friendships on cardiovascular functioning. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 33(3), 278–290. https://doi.org/10.1007/bf02879910
9. Schnall, S., Harber, K. D., Stefanucci, J. K., & Proffitt, D. R. (2008). Social support and the perception of geographical slant. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44(5), 1246–1255. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.04.011
10. Abrams, Z. (2020). The science of why friendships keep us healthy. https://www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/06/cover-story-science-friendship
11. Kardas, M., Kumar, A., & Epley, N. (2022). Overly shallow?: Miscalibrated expectations create a barrier to deeper conversation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 122(3), 367–398. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000281
12. Ledbetter, A. M., Griffin, E., & Sparks, G. G. (2007). Forecasting “friends forever”: A longitudinal investigation of sustained closeness between best friends. Personal Relationships, 14(2), 343–350. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00158.x
13. Campbell, K., Holderness, N., & Riggs, M. (2015). Friendship chemistry: An examination of underlying factors. The Social Science Journal, 52(2), 239–247. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.soscij.2015.01.005
14. Stillman, J. (2022). The scientific reason it’s so hard to make friends as an adult (and what to do about it). Inc.com. https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/psychology-relationships-adult-friends.html
15. Noonan, S. J. (2022). The Challenge of Making Friends in Adulthood. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/view-the-mist/202210/the-challenge-making-friends-in-adulthood
16. World Health Organization: WHO. (2023). WHO launches commission to foster social connection. https://www.who.int/news/item/15-11-2023-who-launches-commission-to-foster-social-connection